A Word from the Director: 2/7/2014

As it is not uncommon for me to be on the phone for many hours a day, despite being in Israel for the last week and a half, things were no different. I was happy to be able to reconnect with many of our boys who are there in many different capacities. One evening as the day was winding down, I received two phone calls - both from young men we had been involved with in Los Angeles a few years ago. I will not go into the whole list of rehabs, detox programs, homeless shelters, and jail time each had experienced at different points along their journey, but the excitement of hearing how well they were doing now kept me up the rest of the night. The 30 year old told me that he has been married for three years, blessed with two children, and is currently living in Bnei Brak - a real chassidishe mentsch. He came to Israel with not a penny in his pocket, and began to bake a unique kind of health bread. What started as 10 loaves a week has grown to a full blown bakery that delivers 750 loaves all over the country. He was so proud to tell me about the stable, healthy, self-supporting life he is currently leading. The other boy, 23, originally from Lakewood, who had made the rounds of several programs, couldn’t hold down a job, and had his share of legal woes, has been in the Israeli army for 18 months and just reenlisted into an elite unit for another 18 months. As I listened to him proudly tell of his accomplishments, I recalled the hundreds of hours I had spent listening to his parents cry over his situation, worrying that he may not even live into adulthood.

I share these stories, not to proclaim the success of Aish Tamid, and not to tell you that Israel holds the key to transformation for these kids - because it doesn’t always - but to give parents out there some hope. Their stories certainly were mechazek me! Just because a kid is struggling now, doesn’t mean it will always be like this. These boys had hit rock bottom, and there was good reason to fear for their safety, but somehow, when they were ready (and yes, the efforts of parents, therapy, programs, and many tefillos and tears do help) they pulled themselves together, took advantage of opportunities and support systems being offered to them, and have grown into healthy, responsible adults.

In general, it was touching to see how many boys came to visit as I sat shiva for my father, and asked what they could do to help. Many helped make minyanim when I needed, one boy picked me up from the airport when I arrived and another took me back when I left, and two kids who live in Tel Aviv made plans to meet me at the airport before my departure flight. It was heartwarming to see the married ones, and inspiring to place yet another boy (who had been living in a loft in Meah She’arim doing nothing for months) in a nurturing yeshiva environment.

I would like to thank everyone who came to see me during the shiva for my father and for all the comforting words, phone calls, and cards that were sent. I have a newfound appreciation for shiva and the halachic mourning process. It was an active lesson for me in what true support and help looks and feels like. One last story that occurred during shiva that I wanted to share. At some point it becomes hard for the mourner to keep talking and telling stories, although you are grateful for the presence of those who come to comfort you. There was one boy who came to our house a few times over the couple of days that I sat shiva here. He sat on a couch in the back of the room, sometimes playing with my kids and keeping them occupied, and sometimes just quietly texting, but he was there. Occasionally he would ask if I needed anything, or if I wanted him to bring me a shwarma. I found it comforting that he didn’t want or need anything from me, he was just present, and sometimes that’s all a person needs.

I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to my assistant Ivan who held down the fort at Aish Tamid for the past two weeks, including running our annual Super Bowl party, and even fielding a few crises along the way. I would also like to acknowledge the boys who stepped up to the plate and did some of the shopping and errands necessary to keep the Drop-In Center running.

Thank you to Allan Genauer for donating a new pool table to Aish Tamid. We are putting it together and are excited to start using it soon.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 1/17/2014

This week our community has been rocked yet again by the untimely death of a very special young wife and mother. Her sudden, tragic passing has plunged her family, friends, and teachers into a blur of grief and mourning. There has been so much involvement by various community leaders and her mentors, that I even suggested a support group to be mechazek the mechazkim. Unfortunately, this is not the first or even second tragedy of this nature in the past few months here in Los Angeles. I personally lost my best friend just days before his only son’s Bar Mitzvah. And a few months before that, a woman who was a pillar in the community passed away weeks before her son’s Bar Mitzvah as well. All three were eulogized at Shaarei Tefillah where their common middah of chessed, generosity, and concern for others was mentioned repeatedly as a charge to us to learn from them and better ourselves. When a young woman dies and within hours of setting a time for the levaya, 600 people are present, with another 900 watching online around the world, and within days two different learning programs have started, plus a mitzvah campaign that over 400 people have already signed up for, one must reflect and recognize “mi k’amcha yisrael.” What other nation would come together both in sheer numbers of people and effort in such a short time?

As the outpouring of support for the family and friends continues, one must recognize that there is no one way to grieve, and each person affected will experience the grief process differently. Whether or not you believe in the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), one must acknowledge that as Jews, we have our own stages of shiva, shloshim, and the year leading up to the first yahrzeit. During each one, we must value the intensity of that stage, with each progressive one being less intense than the one before, and try to appreciate the importance of mourning at that level. As anyone who has been to a shiva house can attest, people certainly display different needs as they experience the raw pain of that first week following the loss of a close family member. Some want to talk about the niftar and share their thoughts and feelings. Others want to sit quietly and listen to memories the visitors have of their loved one, while others want to just sit in silence. Chazal knew this and therefore the halacha is that we must follow the mourner’s emotional cue. We are instructed to wait until they speak. And if they cannot – just sit there quietly. In this age of cell phones and constant communication it is one of the most difficult things to do, but nichum aveilim is about the avel, and if that’s the ‘emotional cue’ you get from him or her – do what they need. They must not be made to feel that they have to share stories and entertain you, but if they do open the conversation, don’t grill them with questions to fill the awkward, aching silence. Be still. Be there. We can’t fix it, nor do we have any magic answers, but we can be present and share the pain. As one woman mourning the sudden death of her brother wrote: “The spirit of what your friend needs to hear is simply this: Hang in there. You are brave. You are not alone although this journey is deeply lonely. You are loved. You will not always feel this way. We honor the pain and memory and life-altering experience you are having. We are here to help you. We are not mind readers so we need you to communicate if you need something. Nobody is judging you. We are heartbroken for you. No matter what, we will walk beside you.”

I witnessed this show of support being so beautifully done by a Rebbe for a talmid last night. The young man was making a siyum in memory of his mother who passed away three years ago. His aunt and uncle arranged a beautiful seudah with many family members and friends in attendance. Unfortunately, this boy’s rebbe knew the pain of losing a loved one all too well, as he lost his son in a very tragic and sudden death just a couple of years ago. Watching the two of them together, one couldn’t help but notice that there was clearly a special, unspoken bond between them as they somehow supported each other in their grief. Just knowing that the other understood his pain seemed to bring comfort to both of them. We all have our tzaros, our pain, and our challenges. The Jewish people are an “am echad b’lev echad” and as such must be there to help and support each other, even if it means dropping our own facades sometimes. We all suffer losses of varying types and we need to mourn our own losses, as well as comfort others in their time of pain. May we, as a community, be zoche to see the end of tzaros, large and small, and be consoled by the only One Who can grant us clarity and true comfort – HaMakom yenachem.

Have a good Shabbos!

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 1/10/2014

The other day I walked into one of the rehabs that I am involved with and met up with a young man who has spent the last six months in Men’s Central Jail. This was his second stint in that jail. Over the course of our conversation it came to light that he had just been released that very morning. In fact, he hadn’t even known he was being let out until just a few hours before, so there was quite a range of emotions he was dealing with. He was certainly thrilled with the happy news, excited to be a free man again, and so grateful to Hashem for orchestrating the whole thing. We discussed these feelings, and I asked him how long he thought the inspiration, gratitude, and commitment to change in the future would last. I actually gave him an ‘assignment’ to write down the thoughts and emotions he was experiencing on his first day of freedom, so that when his resolve faltered, he would have something tangible to go back to that would remind him of what it felt like to walk out of the gates of incarceration.

In this week’s parsha the Jews had a similar challenge of taking their inspiration and strengthened faith in Hashem into their next crisis. After hundreds of years of slavery and torture they were finally allowed to walk out of the gates of Mitzrayim, only to be chased by their enemies before they could even fully savor their freedom. To make matters worse, they are faced with the Yam Suf looming ahead and nowhere to turn. Even tefilla doesn’t seem to work in this situation, as Hashem tells Moshe that now is the time for action; not prayer. With Nachshon’s brave jump into the sea, an escape route was created, once again, for the Jews. But the Egyptians had followed them in! At the precise moment when all the Jews were safely on the other side, and all Egyptian soldiers were in the sea, the waters came crashing back down drowning them all. As if that wasn’t enough, the bodies were then spit out onto the dry land for the Jews to see and be sure that their enemies were dead and they were safe. At that point it says, “and they believed in Hashem and Moshe His servant.” Why only at that point is the declaration of their faith recorded? What about all the miracles that led to that point? Rav Moshe Feinstien answers that the makos weren’t enough because after each one, the enemy was still there and retracted the Jews’ permission to leave. Even kriyas Yam Suf might not have solidified their emunah, because they were still afraid that just like they came out on their other side, the Egyptians could have emerged as well and still continued chasing them. It was only after having the closure of seeing their captors dead on the sand in front of them that their faith was strengthened and they were inspired to sing Shiras HaYam.

If this was the case, and their faith in Hashem and Moshe was so strong, then how could they falter only a short time later when the food runs out and they want to go back to Mitzrayim. How could they possibly have forgotten all the years of fear, pain, and suffering there?! The answer is that no matter how big the miracle, or how strong the inspiration, the effect doesn’t last unless you find a way to concretize it and keep it real in your life. That’s why we have so many mitzvos that are “zecher l’yetzias mitzrayim.” As big and powerful as that experience was, we would have difficulty fulfilling the commandment to remember it everyday if we didn’t have tangible reminders like tefillin, kriyas sh’ma, Kiddush, and more. And that is why I had this young man record his feelings on that first day of his release. We would like to think that the burst of excitement he felt upon hearing that he was being let out of jail, and then the exhilaration of exiting the gates, would be enough to deter him from making the same mistakes again that got him there in the first place.

But those feelings fade and we return to our daily lives, unfortunately losing the motivation to stay in a growth-oriented mindset. The reminders need to be concrete. That’s why some people make a seudas hoda’ah every year to commemorate events in their lives. The benefit of holding onto the memories of times that Hashem saved us from a challenging situation, is that the next time we are in crisis, we can hopefully maintain our strengthened emunah that Hashem will save us this time as well. We must recognize that the flashes of inspiration that Hashem send us are a gift to carry us through the next dark time in our lives.

A huge yasher koach to Rabbi Chaim Kolodny for committing to sponsor one night of dinner from Chick N’ Chow every week for our boys!

We would also like to thank Elisha and Tehila Kramer for sponsoring our new website as well as the professional staff at Powered who designed the site. They can be reached at 818-669-4956. Please check us out at www.aishtamid.org. We welcome your feedback and suggestions.

Have a good Shabbos!

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 1/3/2014

As the secular world celebrated the start of a New Year this week, many Orthodox high schools were grappling with a dilemma. Knowing that many of their students would have opportunities to attend parties where unsafe or inappropriate activities would be taking place, should they make a rule with serious enough consequences to deter the unruly behavior, or educate the kids about the dangers of these events and let them learn from decisions they make, or is such an issue the parents’ domain and the school should leave it to the parents’ judgment?

By acknowledging the issue, is the school giving it too much credence and in some way condoning it?

One high school decided that they could not ignore the reality and as their job is to educate, they would begin with that approach. They brought in someone who, despite his Rabbinic appearance, came from a background similar to the Modern Orthodox students in his audience. He told dramatic and painful stories of lives of kids he personally knew being tragically altered due to a lapse of good judgment. He emphasized the danger of getting caught up in the moment and throwing caution to the wind because teenagers think they are invincible. Many of the kids commented afterwards that the speaker had really given them food for thought and they were inspired to rethink and maybe even change their plans for New Year’s Eve. However, as the day approached and there were still rumblings of parties being attended, a couple of teachers felt they had to face the harsh reality that some of the students that they cared for so deeply were in fact going to be in places they shouldn’t, and possibly compromising both Torah and personal values. They decided to send out an email reminding the kids of the inspiration they felt only a few days before and to encourage them to make good choices. At the end of the letter they included their cell phone numbers with an offer to come help any student who found themselves, or their friends, in a compromising situation at any point that night. Again, the dilemma: are we sanctioning the festivities by acknowledging them and possibly even enabling the kids, or are we confronting a challenging situation head-on in the hopes of protecting the kids from themselves, or does the school send a stronger message of zero tolerance by not even addressing the issue?
There are no absolute right answers. Schools, parents, and organizations like Aish Tamid all have different considerations when faced with difficult questions like these. Schools have to worry about their reputation in a community and the impact that the actions of some students can have on their peers. They have a responsibility to many different kids and their families. Parents have to answer the question of what standards they want to set in their home, and how can they maintain a relationship with the child who challenges those standards while not compromising the message of their core values to their other children. And even at Aish Tamid, where despite the fact that we may have lowered the bar, and “the rules of the game” are different when one is dealing with kids in crisis, we still have certain expectations of the kids and some basic rules for their own safety.

As parents, our primary concern is always for our children’s safety, both physical and spiritual. To that end, we set rules and try to enforce those limits both with verbal messages and consequences when necessary. But at what point do we need to let them take ownership of their behavior and learn from the natural consequences that sometimes ensue? I had a boy come to me last week with, unfortunately, a rather extreme situation. He is dating a non-Jewish girl, and as you can well imagine, his parents are devastated and have made their disapproval quite clear. We had a meaningful discussion about how decisions that one makes now may have long-term repercussions, and that what may not be important to him now might be in ten years. His response took me by surprise. He said, “In life, one has to make their own decisions. My father did that – his first wife wasn’t Jewish and he learned the hard way. Maybe that’s what I need to do too.” What can or should the parents do in such a tragic situation? I do not claim to have answers to such things. But I do know that every situation is different and presents its own “grey areas” that must be contended with. Therefore, it is imperative that one has Rabbanim, mentors, support groups, and even experienced and wise friends, to consult with as they navigate the complexities of raising a child in today’s complicated society.

We want to thank Levi Graubard from Chick N Chow for sponsoring a delicious dinner of Chinese food for the Drop-In Center this week. We’d also like to thank Abba’s for continuing to sponsor weekly dinners for the Drop-In Center. Dr. Presser also sponsored a dinner this week l'zecher nishmas Faige Nesha Bas Binyamin HaKohain; we’d like to thank him as well.

Have a good Shabbos!

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 12/20/2013

Since many of the boys we deal with have their own set of challenges, it is often hard for them to see outside of themselves and the issues in their own lives. I, therefore, work to raise awareness as I hear either negative or positive responses to a friend’s mishap or struggle. In general, the children of this generation are growing up in relative comfort, yet at the same time know of unspeakable tragedies in their communities and the world around them. How can we effectively teach entitled kids in an increasingly narcissistic society (as Rabbi Brander has called it: the iPod generation, focus on the “I”) to not become jaded, but rather to empathize with their friend and feel their pain?

Here are some evidence-based suggestions for teaching empathy:
•    Make a happy home. When a child feels safe and happy at home, knowing their parents love them, they are less self-centered. When their own needs are met, they are more likely to think of others before themselves.
•    Give service. One activity for any age to build empathy is to give service. Have your child bake cookies and take them to someone who lives alone. Visit a nursing home and bring a smile to lonely older people. Have an older child offer to help a neighbor with their children – without receiving payment. Take them to volunteer at a food bank or soup kitchen, and have them see what it’s like to not have the full pantry and refrigerator they are blessed with at home.
•    Spending time with animals. Another great thing for children is to have experience with animals. As they are forced to practice soft, slow touch with the animal (or there will be an immediate negative response from it) the behaviors of gentleness, patience, and kindness are reinforced.
•    Encourage them. Positive reinforcement of empathy is also helpful.
•    Take advantage of teaching moments. Role play. Sometimes children get in trouble because they find it hard to control their emotions and to understand the feelings of others. If you can seize those opportunities to explain to the child how the other party may be feeling, and suggest an appropriate response, you will have done your child a great service. This is as simple as asking, "How would you feel if someone did that to you?"

In this week’s parsha we are introduced to Moshe Rabbeinu. There is no greater model of someone who so clearly feels the pain of his brothers. Imagine a prince living in the comfort and luxury of the king’s palace, with whatever amenities they had in Egypt back then, and physically unaffected by the slavery of those around him, making the effort to go out and see the pain of his enslaved brethren. The midrash tells us that he even offered his own shoulders to help as many Jews as possible with their work, and actually experienced their pain! He also convinced Paroh to give them a day off each week so as to help alleviate some of their suffering. In his role as a shepherd, Moshe, and later David Hamelech, were able to show their deep concern for each and every individual: a characteristic which is a prerequisite to being a Jewish leader.

This middah of noticing, caring for, and trying to lessen the pain of another, is one that we must strive to emulate and teach our children. We must try to see things from someone else’s perspective and attempt to understand their needs, worries, and pain. We need to become good listeners and offer comforting and encouraging words. We can't always do anything tangible to solve the problem, but the fact that my friend knows that I share the ache of his burdens helps him tremendously. He knows that he doesn't face his problems alone. As the saying goes, “A burden shared is a burden halved.” Included in sharing my friend's burden is the act of praying for him. The gemara in Brachos 12b goes so far as to say that whoever can daven for another and doesn’t is called a sinner. Even if we cannot contribute much financially, or don’t have the time to physically help someone who is suffering, can we not at least take two minutes to offer a prayer on their behalf?

Rav Shimon Shkop explains that a “gadol” is a great person who expands his definition of self to include others. He is not merely an individual – himself – but rather part of a larger whole and consequently he becomes “gadol” – bigger. There was a terrible fire in the city of Brisk that left half the city destroyed and hundreds of Jews homeless. The rav of the town, Rav Chaim Soloveitchik, promptly moved out of his house and slept on a bench in the shul. When asked why he was doing so if his own house remained untouched by the calamity, he exclaimed, “How can I sleep in a comfortable bed when so many people do not have a roof over their heads.” That is a gadol; a leader of the generation. That is empathy.

Have a good Shabbos!

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 12/13/2013

One night this week, over dinner at the Drop-In Center, we were discussing the berachos that Yaakov Avinu gave his sons. The blessings of the first three sons, in particular, were called into question; they sound far more negative than one would imagine a blessing should sound like. Upon further examination, however, it becomes clear that Yaakov is not just criticizing his sons – he is offering constructive criticism. Their father is pointing out their shortcomings and areas of challenge within each one’s personality, and offering insight into the remedies for these pitfalls.

In life, we tend to eschew criticism. It makes us feel bad about ourselves and can easily exacerbate a low self-esteem. This is largely because of where that criticism is usually coming from. We feel attacked, get defensive, and try not to internalize what we perceive to be hurtful words. However, when feedback about our actions, words, or character is coming from someone who cares about us and has our best interest at heart, it behooves us to listen and heed the advice being given. In fact, such feedback can actually be an amazing gift. Becoming aware of our shortcomings, and being told how to remedy them, is one of the greatest blessings one could ask for. Many of us spend years trying to figure out why we were put in this world. If we are willing to listen, there are people in our lives who can shed light on what our purpose and mission in this world may be. The beauty of the birchos Yaakov lies in the insight he shared with his children of what their strengths and weaknesses were. The acknowledgement of their differences and the guidance of where their efforts should be focused was invaluable and empowering.

Quoting the Vilna Gaon, Rav Wolbe explains that there are certain things that cannot be changed in a person. His very nature is one of those things. Man actually has no free will in this area; he only has free will in terms of what he does with that nature. Everyone’s nature is compatible with a Torah way of life. It’s up to us to figure out how to transform our weaknesses into strengths and find the way to make a Torah lifestyle work for us. The Malbim writes on the pasuk in Mishlei, “chanoch l’na’are al pi darko,” that being mechanech a child is the art of getting to know that child’s nature by observing him or her, figuring out what makes them feel good about themselves, and then helping develop that child to meet their fullest potential. This requires much effort being put into understanding and building the person as they are, and not just trying to mold them into what we want them to be.

This week we were visited by a representative of just such a yeshiva; Yeshivas Ahavas Chayim. It was started by one of the rebbeim from Yeshiva Ner Yaakov, who excelled in understanding and developing the boys each in their own way, and continues in that derech. They pride themselves on their small student body (15-16 boys), which enables them to guide each one based on their unique personality, strengths, and weakness. The Rosh Yeshiva sits with each student once a month to review and fine tune his personal schedule. Personal growth through close relationships with the rebbeim both in and out of the beis midrash is the hallmark of this special yeshiva. For more information, please contact the Aish Tamid office.

We would like to thank an anonymous sponsor for a delicious sushi dinner this week. The boys really enjoyed the treat! If you would like to sponsor either a night or week of dinners in honor of a simcha or in memory of a loved one, please be in touch with us.

Have a good Shabbos!

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 12/6/2013

We are often presented with opportunities to reach out to people. Many of those situations don’t necessitate money, nor are they labor intensive. The first step is simply to be aware of the importance of human interactions and how even a small effort like a quick phone call or text can make the difference between a great day or a lousy one for the recipient of your efforts. We all know people for whom these connections would be meaningful, but for some reason we struggle to find the time to bring our good intentions to fruition. I believe the key is to recognize how critical these messages of support are, and then to work small actions into our day.

A former student of mine is an orphan and works in an office by himself most of the day. I try to check in with him every so often. Recently he told me that although he is happy to have a job, it is very lonely there as very few people walk into his store each day. I happened to be in that neighborhood this week and stopped by to see him. The look on his face was priceless. I wasn’t there very long and had no agenda other than to let him know that someone cared enough to just stop by and say hello. I experienced this in an entirely different setting as well. I attended a very moving and inspirational play made up of actors who are in recovery from addiction. Despite having seen it before, I went to show support for the actors that I knew from rehab. For the remainder of the week, I kept getting calls and texts from them thanking me for coming and letting me know how much it meant to them that I was there. The gemara in Bava Basra tells us that one who gives tzedaka receives six brachos, while one who speaks kindly to the poor gets eleven. We can all “afford” a kind word to someone in need, we just have to take the time to make that small effort.

Chanukah was a busy week at Aish Tamid. Besides for the nightly ritual of maariv, candle lighting, and sufaniyot, we took the boys out bowling one evening. As luck would have it, after organizing transportation and all the details of the event, when we got to the bowling alley we were informed that there was a blackout in the neighborhood and clearly could not bowl. We moved on to Plan B, only to discover that the timing was off and that activity wouldn’t work either. Realizing that Someone decided that this wasn’t meant to be, we ended up hanging out together at the Promenade in Santa Monica. On the way home, as I was feeling a bit bummed out that our evening hadn’t gone as planned, a few of the boys maintained a much more positive outlook and commented on how much fun they had just going out together. I was impressed that there were none of the usual complaints you might expect from teenagers and that they were able to express their appreciation for the efforts made on their behalf, despite the disappointments of that night. I firmly believe that their ability to just enjoy each others’ company is a testament to the bond these boys have created at Aish Tamid.

Another evening this week we had a Chanukah party, which was organized by Gloria Rott and generously sponsored by Abba’s. The food was delicious, and the live music really made the evening memorable. We’d like to thank Rabbi Eli Scheller for joining us that evening and inspiring us.

Yasher koach to Mr. and Mrs. Shmuel Drebin for providing us with transportation for our evening out on the town.

And finally, a big “thank you” goes out to Yehuda Klein and Eli Sharf for generously donating Clippers tickets Aish Tamid last week.

Have a good Shabbos!

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 7/29/2011

So often, in trying to help people, we come into the situation with an agenda and we attempt to reach out to the person on our terms. With teenagers, it is critical to the relationship building process that we work with these kids on their terms. This is how we are able to reach out to kids from so many different parts of the greater Los Angeles Jewish community. Here at Aish Tamid we feel very blessed to have such a beautiful building with all of its amenities. We’ve provided nearly every activity these boys could want! Yet, there are still those who don’t come to us, and we have to make the effort to meet them on their “turf.” Sometimes a boy will call that he’s “chilling out” at the park - so we meet at the park. During the year a kid might be having an issue at school, so we go down there to advocate on their behalf. We have been called to private homes to help resolve a parent-child conflict. In more dire instances, we have gone to hospitals, drug rehabs, or even jails to connect with a kid looking for guidance and support. We can’t help a kid who isn’t ready to be helped, so when they are ready and do reach out to us, we do whatever we can to engage them on their terms and in their comfort zone. This is how we gain their trust, build a relationship with them, and hopefully help them get to a better place in their lives.

Thursday night we had a beautiful and inspiring evening with a bbq “catered” by our very own chef Ivan, and learning with R’ Yaakov Rosenblatt. We look forward to R’ Yaakov’s words of Torah and chizuk and are very appreciative of the time he spends with us each week.

A boy approached me this week about having a CPR class at Aish Tamid. I told him to get a list of boys interested in such a venture and to get back to me. Within the hour he came back to me with a list of 8 names and cell numbers of kids who would like to attend such a class. It is always heartening to see their passion and involvement in growing the organization, and amazing how quickly they can make things happen when they take the initiative to do so.

One quick nice story: I was having coffee with a boy who hasn’t been doing much with his time this summer. I asked him if he could help me with a building project by working with the professional who was doing it for me. He said he had never done anything like that before, but was willing to try. He worked diligently for an hour and a half and looked happier than I had ever seen him. At the end he said, “Wow, I never thought I could do that!” We have to encourage kids to try new things, as we never know what may inspire them or where it will take them.

Aish Tamid would like to wish deepest condolences to the Dolin and Brodsky family on the recent loss of their mother. May they be comforted among the mourners of Tzion and Yerushalayim. May the efforts that Elliot has made and continues to make on behalf of Aish Tamid be an aliya for her neshama.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 7/22/2011

We had some very important visitors this week at Aish Tamid. Rabbi Ben Shushan from Yeshivat Ruach Hayim in Yerushalayim came to see our program and interview some boys. We are always happy to facilitate such meetings as we not only send the boys to learn in yeshiva, but we then stay connected and check on their progress while they are there. We then offer opportunities for them to maintain and continue their growth when they return. Even at this “late hour,” there are still many boys deciding to go to learn in Eretz Yisrael for a year.

Thursday night we were honored to have the Roshei Yeshiva of the Mesivta of Long Beach, New York visit the Drop-In Center and offer divrei bracha and chizuk to our staff. After taking care to ensure that their attire wasn’t too intimidating, they then came upstairs to meet some of the boys. The Roshei Yeshiva were impressed by what they saw and encouraged us to continue in our Avodas Hakodesh.

Last night we were also very grateful to have our dear friend R’ Yaakov Rosenblatt come learn with a group of boys and be mechazek them. He has a special way of connecting with the boys and speaking to them in a very practical way. We look forward to having his visits become a regular part of our night program.

In last week’s newsletter we mentioned our pride in building a sense of community between the Aish Tamid boys themselves. There were further examples of this recently that I think bear mentioning. In one case, a boy who had experienced and overcome a certain challenge encouraged his friend to enter a program and actually facilitated the boy’s acceptance into that program. The feeling of “areivus” - responsibility to care for a peer - was impressive to witness and heartwarming for all involved. There is no greater nachas than seeing a kid that has succeeded, now in “helping mode” and giving back to younger boy in a similar situation.

In a second incident, a crisis arose involving a teenager who was rushed to the emergency room. A former Aish Tamid boy who was present at the scene felt secure enough to call me in the middle of the night to come down to the hospital and help navigate a very difficult situation. As I spent the night with them I realized that the relationship that had been built over years, and the trust that ensued, was the critical factor in these kids having someone to turn to in a time of need. This is one of our main goals at Aish Tamid - to build solid relationships with teenagers and young adults so that they know that we are the address for help, if and when crisis hits, no matter what time of day or night it happens to be.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 7/15/2011

Visiting Aish Tamid these days, you will see many new faces. Not only do we have some new boys coming to hang out, but we are excited to introduce our new volunteer, Josh Shapiro. Josh was a track and field coach at Arcadia High School for six years. In that time, he mentored numerous teens on and off the field, building their self- esteem. Now, he continues to use his background as a coach to help teens through fun, outdoor experiences. Our boys have already connected very positively with Josh, and we are looking forward to having him create some programs on life skills building for Aish Tamid.

B”H, we continue to successfully refer both boys and girls to local therapists. There are some excellent mental health professionals in our community and we welcome their involvement with Aish Tamid. Several of them have already contacted us looking to get involved in our work with at-risk youth, and we appreciate their offers of assistance. In the near future, we hope to put together a list of such resources available to the community and encourage these dedicated professionals to be in touch with our office.

As our organization has grown, we have not only built a name for ourselves within the greater Los Angeles Jewish community, but we have been contacted by organizations on the East Coast to collaborate with them in creating specialized educational opportunities for teens. This is exciting as we are always looking for ways to network with organizations similar to our own and share ideas that have worked in the past. We pray that “a problem shared is a problem solved.”

It has been particularly heartwarming to witness several occurrences over the past few weeks that point to the Aish Tamid community the boys have created among themselves. We repeatedly hear from them that Aish Tamid is their “home away from home” as they come at all hours of the day until we finally have to ask them to leave and lock the doors late at night. But we are also discovering that they are sharing positive experiences and programs outside of the Drop-In Center as well. One boy was attending a Tae Kwon-Do class that he enjoyed, so he invited a few friends to join him and now there is a group that goes together. This week, one of our boys had his bike stolen. In a show of solidarity and support, several of his friends got together, successfully found the thief, confronted him, and had the bike returned! This camaraderie and feeling of belonging to something larger than themselves is an important part of their maturity and growth.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 7/8/2011

We hope that you are all enjoying summer! We certainly have been here at Aish Tamid! We kicked off our week with an awesome 4th of July barbecue – complete with patriotic decorations, hot dogs, hamburgers, steak and watermelon. The boys who attended played basketball on our “court” and then took advantage of the regular Aish Tamid amenities for the rest of the evening.

B”H, this week we have been successful in directing a few of our teens to qualified therapists who will hopefully take them to the next level in their personal growth. Just getting the kids to the point where they are willing to meet with a therapist involves hours of texts, phone calls and meetings – but it is gratifying to see them come to the realization, on their own, that they are the ones who will benefit from such sessions.

We were also able to place some of the boys in jobs; they are quite excited about this. As they seek structure to their days, they are willing to do many types of work – even day jobs like moving. If you are in need of capable workers for either long or short term, please let us know so we can help create opportunities for accomplishment and purpose for these kids.

Back by popular demand… we’re pleased to announce the restarting of our GED program. We ran a very successful program during the year, supporting several boys through the process of studying for and passing the GED exam. This has proven to be a critical part in the process of advancement towards pursuing a higher degree and career. Recently several boys asked that we begin the program again and provide the tutors they need to accomplish this goal. We are thrilled to respond to this need and fulfill their request.

Lastly, we’d like to thank those working on the repair and enhancement of our building. Keep your eyes open as you drive down 3rd Street – we’re expecting a new sign for the front of the Aish Tamid building that will help even more people find us and seek out the help they need!

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 7/1/2011

This week we would like to highlight Aish Tamid’s new girls division. The overwhelmingly positive response we have gotten over the last few weeks from girls, parents, community Rabbanim and local therapists has been testimony to the crying need of girls in distress for such an organization. Not only do girls email and call me asking for help for themselves, but some have even called seeking advice as to how to help a friend in crisis.

I have learned very quickly that teenage girls have a lot of “drama” in their lives and are often overwhelmed and not sure how to navigate it all. To that end, I have been directing the girls towards female mentors and therapists on our staff who are slowly building relationships with them. Getting the girls to open up and trust an adult figure is very challenging, but B”H we have some very good people on board with both the training and experience necessary to connect with them and help them.

The number of frum young women in the mental health field who have contacted me wanting to be involved in this program has impressed me. Many of them have gone through the same educational system and are from backgrounds similar to our girls, and as such feel they can relate and have much to offer. As our girls division grows, and we convince more young ladies to allow us into their tumultuous lives, we look forward to having more of these talented professionals involved in our organization.

It is sad to hear from parents who are so distraught over their daughters’ self-destructive behaviors. It has been heartening though to see the willingness of certain Rabbanim and Rebbetzins in the community taking such a participatory role for these families. They have lent a supportive ear and a shoulder to cry on, and we are honored to partner with them in our combined efforts to help these families in crisis. Many of the girls (similar to our teenage boys) need a structure to their summer plans. If you know of any jobs for them, please contact me at Aish Tamid.

As always, if you know of a teenage boy or girl in crisis, or parents struggling with their teenage child, please contact me at gavriel@aishtamid.org or call the Aish Tamid office at 323-634-0505 to leave a confidential message.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 6/24/2011

With the school year just ending, we at Aish Tamid have participated in graduations at Valley Torah, Yeshiva Gedolah, Toras Emes and more. Many of our students have also taken their high school equivalency exams (GED or CHSPE). We are all very excited about the boys’ accomplishments and wish them congratulations on their academic achievements. We often take finishing school for granted and do not view it as much of a big deal. However, for many it is not so simple, especially when lacking the support or guidance to achieve their goal. Often times the first step is the hardest. At Aish Tamid, we instill in our students the importance of an education and encourage them to follow through.

Recently, we have also been speaking and meeting with representatives from yeshivas, trying to secure placement for boys seeking to study in Israel. Of course, along with the admissions process there is also the matter of the weighty price tag. If you are interested in chipping in to help sponsor boys going to yeshiva in Israel, it is a tremendous z’chus for you and your family. Please let us know!

Conversely, many of our boys are also returning from yeshivos in Israel. Many of them have had a very inspirational and productive year. Keeping in contact with the boys is a pillar of our program. We work with them before yeshiva, as well as when they come back home. For many, Israel is a truly unbelievable experience. However, if there is no structure created for them when they get back, it is very easy for them to slip into stagnancy, losing the growth and inspiration they gleaned at yeshiva. Part of our job is to help them stay connected in a Torah environment. We do that by getting them a chavrusa, learning with them, and simply maintaining a relationship. It is also highly beneficial for students to find work over the summer. It provides a way for the boys to keep busy and maintain a structured regimen. If you know of any employment opportunities, please get in touch with us!

This week, Aish Tamid attended a seudas hoda’ah by one of our students who was in a near-fatal car accident one year ago. Baruch Hashem, he not only survived but is walking again! He sponsored a beautiful breakfast for fifty boys. It was a very inspirational event.

Finally, we would like to thank our unofficial trainer at Aish Tamid, Ron Luberman, for making himself available two nights a week. In addition to providing guidance and instruction during workout sessions, Ron has also begun giving very engaging and helpful nutrition lessons.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 6/17/2011

As summer approaches, many of our students are leaving town for camp or various other reasons. While discussing their trips, it’s very touching to hear them bemoan the few days they have at Aish Tamid before leaving, saying things like “only a few days left at Aish” or “I can’t believe I’m gonna be gone for so long”. It’s heartwarming for us to hear that we play such a major part in their lives that they feel they must stop by one last time before they leave. Thank G-d we have been successful in creating a place that for many is a home away from home; and for some, they spend a more time here than at their real home.

Though the school year has only just concluded, kids are already in need of new high schools or yeshivas for the upcoming year. Much of our activities during late spring and summer consist of meeting with parents and getting in contact with schools, trying to secure placement for the following year. We also work on the sometimes-challenging issue of acquiring financial assistance for kids to attend yeshiva in Israel. If you have a son or know of a young man who is looking to attend school, please get in touch with us.

I want to thank Rav Yaakov Rosenblatt for joining Aish Tamid on Shavuos night and inspiring us all throughout the evening (and morning). Of course, I would also like to thank Rabbi Neuberger for his efforts learning with the boys on Shavuos evening – and of course for all that he does for Aish Tamid. Rabbi Neuberger is often here as much as six nights a week so he can spend time with the boys. We thank him for his dedication.

We’d like to thank Selma Fisch for providing our teens with much-needed snacks.

In other news, our girls program is growing. The girls are starting to meet with our mentors and clinicians. It’s a process for teens to learn to trust and create healthy relationships with adults. Above all, it is important to convey to them that we truly care what they have to say and that what they say is between them and the mentor.

Sadly, this week our good friend Frank Menlo lost his sister, Judy Frankel, who had been ill for many years. At the levaya, Mr. Menlo spoke poignantly about the need for parents to be available for their children. He cited the use of cell phones and the common practice of parents ignoring their children while on the phone. It isn’t enough for us as parents to simply be around. We need to truly be there for them. Our children must know that they are our absolute first priority. We share our deepest condolences to the Menlo family. May you be comforted among the mourners of Tzion and Yerushalayim.

A dear friend and student of mine, Gabe Yelloz, lost his father this week. May you be comforted among the mourners of Tzion and Yerushalayim.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 6/10/2011

We had an unbelievable crowd on Shavuos, with fifty to sixty boys dropping by Aish Tamid throughout the night. The age range was 14-23 years old and every room in the building was being used for studying Torah. We have students from all over Los Angeles and I was only expecting that the ones from the La Brea area would attend, I was completely taken aback when we had kids from Pico who had walked and skateboarded to be here with us! It was a very inspirational evening for me to see so many guys here from all walks of life. Many of the older boys, whom I haven’t seen in ages and who are in colleges and various programs, came to join us. The most impressive part was that our regulars – who I am always nudging to learn a little – were able to sit through a good part of the night learning dafim of Gemara. Let’s not forget about the food! We had sushi, cheesecake, and lots of other nosh throughout the night. I think Aish Tamid has really become a place for the boys to feel comfortable, almost like their second home. This year, the building is bustling at all hours of the day, whether they come to shmooze and hang out, do work on their computers, attend the GED class in the afternoons, use our gym or the new basketball court, or watch the NBA Finals; and let’s not forget we always have food for them! We’ve created an environment where they can feel comfortable. I had a student say to me a few weeks ago “We have everything here, if we could just sleep here, we’d never have to leave.”

Whenever we have the opportunity I feel it is important to introduce the boys to the people that make it all happen: Avi Leibovic, for being the visionary creator of Aish Tamid. He has spent years of selfless dedication and devotion, reaching out to hundreds of students, whether it be for guidance or for employment opportunities, his special chosson classes, or of course his trademark: INSPIRATION! Avi also recognized the importance of having a building which the kids would be able to call their own.

There are various wonderful organizations that reach out to many areas of our community’s needs. Aish Tamid has a unique niche and that is that we work with our own community’s kids. Very often, because we live such busy lives, we may overlook the needs of our children and families. Often our own kids fall through the cracks and need more attention. Maybe they have a learning issue or just don’t fit in. Whether they need a mentor, a big brother, help in school, or somebody that will reach out to them and tell them they are special. Often there are situations in a family and we are here for them to reach out to us. I spend hundreds of hours on the phone and in meetings with teens and young adults every month. Very often, I just check in with them, leave them a message, remind them that I have not forgotten them and find out if there is something we can do for them. We focus on the relationships. Rarely will I have to engage in theological discussions; these kids know what’s right and what’s wrong. What they need are people to care for them and accept them for who they are. That is what Aish Tamid is all about.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 6/7/2011

FINALS SEASON

As the NBA season comes to its grand finale with the great Mavs-Heat Finals matchup, Aish Tamid is proud to announce that it has recently installed a basketball hoop at the building. The boys have been playing pickup games every day on this excellent extension to our newly-furnished gym facilities! We'd like to thank Elliott Dolin for his continued support in helping Aish Tamid better meet the (exercise and entertainment!) needs of our kids.

ALL-NIGHT TEEN SHAVUOS PROGRAM AT AISH TAMID

This year we will be hosting a teen Shavuos all night learning program at Aish Tamid. As in the past, we have many interesting and dynamic classes for the teens. We will of course be providing sushi and plenty of sugar and caffeine laden treats to keep us up learning through the night. In addition, the Aish Tamid Minyan, under the auspices of Rabbi Avi Leibovic will host a variety of inspirational classes. In the past, we have had dozens of teens drop by throughout the night. We look forward to another inspirational all night program.

AISH TAMID GIRLS PROGRAM

We’re up and running! Aish Tamid’s girls program started with six girls last week at an undisclosed location (to maintain privacy) and we have already received lots of positive feedback. The girls had a fun time hanging out and meeting the female mentors who will be working with them. A major focus of the group is for the mentors to create a relationship with the girls which continues outside the confines of the weekly meetings. The need for these young women to have a relationship with an adult figure whom they feel is not judging them and is available on their terms is crucial. One of the biggest challenges that we find with teens is their inability to trust and be trusted by adults. Our mentors and therapists do not have a history with the girls. We are capable of creating a new relationship based on trust and caring.

All parents have dreams and aspirations for their teens. However, sometimes teens need to have a relationship with another objective adult who may not be as personally involved and demanding as the parent. For example, a certain therapist and rabbi in New York ran a teen support program. His son began exhibiting some of the problematic behaviors the rabbi had dealt with in other people’s teens. This wise man however, did not get involved directly. Instead he chose an outside person to help his son. He understood that he had to give his son some space while placing him under the care of a trustworthy adult. In this way, he allowed his son to develop a relationship with his mentor in which he could be assured that his secrets would not be divulged.

Teens have to be able to trust their mentors/therapists. The building of a therapeutic relationship is in actuality the creation of a “safe place” for young adults to explore themselves and grapple with the many challenges they are facing. The development of that relationship is challenging since teens tend to be mistrustful of adults because they have often experienced “being let down” by those in whom they have confided in the past. For a relationship between an adolescent and a mentor to be successful, it is pivotal that confidentiality and privacy are highly valued. In this way, teens can begin to trust that what is shared with the adult will be safeguarded. In turn, therapists seek to help teenagers create stronger bonds with their families when possible, and will certainly involve parents if there is significant threat/danger to the teenager.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 5/27/2011

Aside from our ongoing boys program, we have also been very busy with the creation of our new girls program. We have met with many educators and principals and they have embraced the program enthusiastically. We have secured a location – at least for the next few months – and we are very excited to get started. The program will be in the Hancock Park area (not at Aish Tamid’s building, of course). We have received many calls expressing interest from parents and community leaders, and many women who have volunteered to help get involved. The staff will consist of a therapist and other adult therapeutic coaches – all women of course. The goal is to create a place where girls can feel comfortable and safe outside of their homes; a non-judgmental environment where they can have fun with their peers, talk and ask questions – with adults who will care for them and serve as role models.

This is a monumental moment in our city. Until now, nothing like this has been created for the community and I have been ecstatic by the response I’ve received. Many of us until now have had this notion that there are only challenges with teenaged males. This is certainly not the case and the challenges vary. Many girls also slip through the cracks despite good intentions and great parenting. The need for confidentiality applies everywhere, but we understand the significance it has especially in our community. In the diamond business there are stones that are easier to cut and shine and there are others that need extra precision and more work. They are all diamonds just the same, but some might just need a bit more attention. Every child is a diamond. We at Aish Tamid feel that they too can be outstanding citizens and can be tremendous assets to Klal Yisroel. We believe that with the proper support and care our teens can reach their maximum potential, make their parents proud, and shine brilliantly!

Aish Tamid’s success lies in our ability to collaborate with parents, teachers and community leaders. If you have a daughter or know of a female student who is struggling, please get in touch with us. We are always available for parents and teachers, with support, referrals and guidance.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 5/20/2011

Aish Tamid will be open this Saturday night for a special Drop-In Center event. We will all be meeting at the building at 9:30 PM and visiting Rabbi Wolf for his Lag B’Omer Meron experience soon afterwards. Many of the boys are unfamiliar with this unique celebration. I hope that it will be a fun and inspirational evening for all!

This week I attended a lecture given by Mrs. Rochel Wise from Philadelphia. I invited parents to join as well. Mrs. Wise is a parenting coach who lectures around the country, focusing on discussing parents’ relationships with teenagers. She bases her principles on what she calls ‘Choice Theory’, emphasizing the importance of relationships. The two important factors that I picked up from her were as follows: First, many parents have issues with their teenagers because the transition from child to teenager poses many new challenges. Parents often feel that they lose control during this period of the child’s growth. Up until now, the parents have made all the decisions. From here on, the teenager now begins to make his or her own decisions, and this is often where a number of conflicts begin to arise. Since we cannot make decisions for them forever, our goal as parents is to teach them how to make healthy decisions. My second takeaway from Mrs. Wise’s lecture was that often times, the conflicts between parents and their teenagers stem from the parents taking offense to the child’s decisions and behaviors. A parent may perceive this as a personal attack, but if they stay calm, they will realize that it is not a personal attack at all. Knowing this, it will enable them to maintain a healthier and more positive relationship with their children.

We are in the exciting process of creating a girls’ program to address their unique issues and needs. The girls’ program will differ from Aish Tamid’s Drop-In Center for the boys, and will held at a different location. We have recently hired a frum therapist and we will keep you updated as the program develops. If you have any questions or know any teen girls that need mentoring or help, please call the office at 323-634-0505.

We started a learning program this week with Rabbi Zvi Boyarsky from The Aleph Institute. Rabbi Boyarsky is teaching a course in fundamental Judaism, based on a curriculum that was specifically created for teens. Hopefully it will deepen their appreciation for their homeland, national history, and Jewish identity.

We would like to thank Ron Luberman, an exercise trainer who has volunteered his time to help out at the gym. He has a tremendous amount of experience and the boys look to him for instruction.
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Taking Responsibility for Our Actions:

Teens often feel invincible and infallible. As parents, we have to teach our children that they have to be responsible for their behavior, and that there will always be consequences for their actions. In the news this past week, we have learned of leaders and public figures who have acted immorally and seemingly gotten away with it… at least for a while. We must learn that we are accountable in all aspects – in our relationships, taking tests at school, dealing with money, etc. Unfortunately, we do not have to look too far to find examples of people whose lives and careers have been destroyed because of bad decisions and impulsive behavior. I believe the message is an important one for teens, as they grow up thinking they are invincible.

I’d like to share a portion of a letter that we received from a parent on the East Coast:

“We really appreciate your involvement during the latest ordeal. Being so far away, it was a comfort for us knowing you were there, helping and guiding us. Your advice was very much appreciated and valuable.”

It gives me a good feeling to know that Aish Tamid is truly making a difference.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 5/13/2011

This week at Aish Tamid we resumed our GED/CSHPE tutoring program with Eli Korobkin. We have a few new students who just started, in addition to those who have been here all year – all of whom are working diligently to further their education. Many of them will be taking their tests in June, b’ezrat Hashem. We wish them much success! If you know of anybody who needs assistance in preparing to take their high school equivalency exams, please have them call us.

We currently have about thirty to forty boys who frequent our center on a daily basis. They come to study, socialize, work out in the gym, speak to me, or just hang out. They also come to eat! We would like to thank Jeff of Jeff’s Gourmet for sponsoring a wonderful dinner this week. The boys loved it! As you can imagine, feeding so many boys throughout the week can be rather costly. Please call us if you would like to sponsor a dinner.

I sometimes feel like a shadchan – but not for marriages! This week I was involved with local teens currently unhappy in New York, looking for new yeshivas to attend. I spent many hours speaking with them and their parents to discuss their needs. I was also in constant contact with parents with teens with special needs looking for support groups and new yeshivas for their sons. We are constantly updating our resources for the variety of needs of our community, providing assistance and counseling for teens and offering support systems for their parents.

One of our latest projects has been constructing a gym for the boys to use, morning, day and night. The gym provides a healthy outlet for them and can help to boost their self-confidence. This week we even had a trainer volunteer some hours to explain to the boys some techniques. Some of the boys recently discussed purchasing a new water cooler for the gym. I would like to thank Yehuda Gamzo for contributing to this goal. It is great to see our youth taking proactive steps to help out. On this topic, I’d also like to thank Yehuda Rosen and Avi Adler who volunteered a day in court this week in support of a friend who had a case which, baruch Hashem, was successful. Though I could not attend, I was able to monitor what was happening because they were there to keep me updated. We try to encourage our students to be supportive and empathetic towards others. We find in this parsha there are many situations that discuss helping other people. Even when people make mistakes, they still deserve the support and help from others to enable them to get back on their feet.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff

A Word from the Director: 5/6/2011

We had a very busy week at Aish Tamid, as I met many new people – both teenagers and young adults. As many of you know, Aish Tamid offers community service hours for those who need it. It gives us the opportunity to meet people and try to see if there are ways that we can assist them, as we try to create or find an opportunity for them to get their hours completed. We try to create opportunities for them that will be meaningful. Because of these mandated community service hours, participants have created long-term relationships with Aish Tamid. Many of them have continued to stay connected with us long after the hours are done.

This week I had the opportunity to meet with two young individuals that left an unbelievable impression upon me. These two individuals – one of them who experienced traumatic events in his life, and the other who got involved in very risky behavior at a very young age – have both grown to become resilient teenagers. They both have a long way to go but they both have this insatiable drive to succeed and pick up the pieces of their lives. The easy way is for them to give up and just let their lives take them in whatever direction it may. But they have such a spirit and a drive to succeed, that they have overcome many challenges in their day to day lives. These kids will one day become mentors and leaders because of the effort they made to overcome their challenges.

Many challenges in our life are overwhelming and often seem unfair and we don’t understand why they happen to us. However, we have to learn to view these challenges as opportunities for growth. We need to teach our children that life’s challenges are meant to help us be the best we can be. This week I was truly inspired by two young men who have been very successful in accomplishing this goal.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Gavriel Hershoff